Quit and feel better

Once upon a time (just a week ago)

I gulped down the receiver and told her the news.

Not surprised, she was not surprised

She said.

And she was happy. A like minded soul who spent 3 glory years in a campervan in the outback.

At my age.

She understood.

I couldn’t come back. Not now.

To spreadsheets, appraisals, frowning late nights and HR connundrums

Not now, when I feel, finally, dare I say it, it sounds so cheesy,  I am being

Just being

And being me.

No job, no boyfriend, no flat, no income, no kids, no garden. At 35.

It feels great.

Because I am getting better.Letting it gooooooooooooo.

No hacking cough, no doubts, no shoulders with lead weights and a dead end sign to a life I didn’t

Sign up for.

Each cell, its shaking imprint taking tiny footsteps to dissolve and take on a happier shape

Yoga in the morning oh hello cliche to the rising sun but it helps

Deep breaths in (I had stopped breathing) when I remember

too.

And this is what I now can see, through a smoky pane

I don’t have to sack off my dreams. I can dust them off and go chase them.

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