Once upon a time (just a week ago)
I gulped down the receiver and told her the news.
Not surprised, she was not surprised
And she was happy. A like minded soul who spent 3 glory years in a campervan in the outback.
At my age.
I couldn’t come back. Not now.
To spreadsheets, appraisals, frowning late nights and HR connundrums
Not now, when I feel, finally, dare I say it, it sounds so cheesy, I am being
And being me.
No job, no boyfriend, no flat, no income, no kids, no garden. At 35.
It feels great.
Because I am getting better.Letting it gooooooooooooo.
No hacking cough, no doubts, no shoulders with lead weights and a dead end sign to a life I didn’t
Sign up for.
Each cell, its shaking imprint taking tiny footsteps to dissolve and take on a happier shape
Yoga in the morning oh hello cliche to the rising sun but it helps
Deep breaths in (I had stopped breathing) when I remember
And this is what I now can see, through a smoky pane
I don’t have to sack off my dreams. I can dust them off and go chase them.